“I’ll admit I had a difficult time cumming at first and still do from time to time. After we exchanged this vulnerable information with each other, our priorities shifted, and we decided that our mutual comfort was most important,” Pierce tells NewNowNext. “Robert explained why he was uncomfortable bottoming and it took me to a traumatic place where I was forced to bottom when I didn’t want to. While their penetrative preference was not mentioned in either of their profiles, the two had talked about their sexual proclivities prior to making things official. The pair matched on Tinder during the pandemic and dated virtually for a few months before they felt it was safe to meet in person. Pierce, 25, and Robert, 23, who both identify as total tops, are prime examples. “Sometimes it’s not possible to fuck (for a number of reasons), and sometimes we fall in love with someone who has a similar penetrative preference.” “There is so much focus on penetration, and it’s often at the expense of a variety of different pleasurable sexual experiences, from mutual masturbation to oral,” he tells NewNowNext. Todd Baratz, a licensed individual and couples’ therapist, agrees. “Penetrative sex isn’t all that anyways.” “I’ve spent the last 12 months with nothing but toys, so I’m pretty sure I could cope,” he shares. “Sex is important to me in a relationship, and I’m certainly not topping, so what are we going to do?” “I would never date another bottom unless they’ve checked off all of the other boxes I require in a man,” Zach, a 30-year-old bottom who voted no, tells NewNowNext. Would you seriously date somebody who had the same positional preference as you? (As in, you're both tops or both bottoms?)Īs always, I love context, so if you want to share why you voted the way you did I'd appreciate it! So, what does one do in such a predicament? Do you give up and ghost or gamble and explore the chemistry further? I posed this question on Twitter, and of the 200-plus voters who responded, 75% said that they would seriously consider dating somebody with whom they shared a positional preference. Unless explicitly stated on an app or in person, we have no way of determining whether someone prefers to pitch, catch, or both. Positional politics can be a determining factor in queer relationships, something most heterosexual people can’t relate to (although as pegging becomes more normalized thanks to media like Broad City, these lines are becoming blurred as well). That’s when it hits you: Your potential soulmate is a bottom - and so are you. Over dinner, however, you notice they haven’t touched their food, electing to munch on the ice chips in their glass instead. The chemistry is palpable, and you’re excited to bring them back to your apartment, which you’ve cleaned for the occasion.
![two hot gay men two hot gay men](https://thumbs.dreamstime.com/b/two-sexy-caucasian-gay-guys-hugging-having-fun-bed-indoors-homosexual-male-partners-taking-care-each-other-lovely-couple-133420973.jpg)
Picture this: You’re on a date that is going extraordinarily well.